THIS JUST IN!

NEWS YOU NEED TO KNOW, OR NOT!

The St. Paul Saints will give away 2,500 "bobble foot" dolls before Sunday's game at Midway Stadium.

The baseball team says the promotion, which coincides with National Tap Dance Day, is "in tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes. The one-of-a-kind collector’s item depicts a restroom stall and a bobble foot peaking out from underneath."

Get it? Poor old Senator Craig! This promotion is nearly as good as an earlier one. Undergo rectal exam, get free baseball tickets.

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JAMES LILAKS, my favorite Twin Cities columnist.

The Strib's Terry Collins had an interesting story last weekend about new advances in education over at Armatage Elementary: the school banned touching. If you were the daily recipient of Dutch Rubs, noogies and/or Atomic Wedgies, this would come as welcome news, but the policy struck many as a bit broad.

Atomic Wedgies?

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Oprah has always been one to try the latest wellness/diet trend. So we probably shouldn't be surprised that she has just started a 21-day detox program.

Here's how she says her first day went: "So this first day wasn't hard at all. For breakfast, I had steel-cut oatmeal with fresh blueberries, strawberries, chopped walnuts and a splash of soy milk and some agave nectar. For lunch, chunky mushroom soup with wild rice and pecans. As a snack, a handful of roasted almonds. And for dinner, a baked potato drizzled with olive oil, salt and pepper with a salad of shredded lettuce, cranberries, pine nuts and tiny orange slices with a vinegar and oil dressing.

I firmly believe Oprah has ventured to the deep end! However, her lemmings will probably follow her over the edge. I for one am sick of Oprah and her new fad religion., feel good BS. By the way, her ratings are down 7%.

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TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico - A Mexican donkey has been freed from jail after doing time for assault and battery. The Televisa network on Wednesday showed "Blacky" gobbling food from a bucket after spending three days in a jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances.

Blacky was jailed for biting and kicking two men near a ranch outside Tuxtla Gutierrez, the capital of Chiapas state.

Money says Blacky is a female. Was there alcohol involved?

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SARASOTA — Citing the burden they place on taxpayers who pay for government workers' health insurance, Sarasota County officials announced Monday that they no longer will hire smokers.

Sounds like blatant discrimination to me.

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PINELLAS PARK, Fla. -- The state's first pet-only funeral home has opened in Central Florida.


Sounds like blatant discrimination to me.

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Dumbass of the day!




'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,' 
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

Have a nice day!

Sammy Carl