This is an old piece I wrote when my brother, Jim and sister-in-Ruth, got married again.
Jim And Ruth Got Married!
Albert and Dorothy Becher announce the marriage of their daughter, Ruth Marie to James Lynn Arnold, son of Ward and Maxyne Arnold to be held on April 20, 1996
This is the second marriage for both. Their first marriages didn’t work out. Did I mention they are marrying each other -- AGAIN?
No one really knows what happens to a marriage that unravels. It just creeps up and bites a once happy couple. I don’t pretend to know what happened to Jim and Ruth’s marriage, but I suspect that it may have brought more than one marriage counselor whimpering to their knees.
When I look at the pictures from their first wedding, two captions immediately come to mind. Buddy Holly and Peggy Sue Get Married and Do These Two People Have Any Business Getting Married?
The answer to the second caption is a solid -- YES. Twenty-nine years later, Ruth is a radiant, beautiful and not too blushing bride. Jim is living proof that God can still turn a “geek” into a handsome and charming grandpa.
The fathers of the bride and groom are standing on God’s front porch watching the world go by. Al’s pants are riding low -- his pant legs draped over his shoes because he’s not wearing suspenders. Ward’s pants are riding high because he is. Ward wears suspenders not to make a fashion statement, but to hold his pants up -- way up.
Ward is not wearing his ratty old brown bathrobe he often wore over his clothes. When God came to help him get ready for the move to heaven, he leaned over and in a warm and gentle voice said, “I don’t think you’ll need that anymore. Why don’t you just leave it here?” And he did.
Al turns to Ward, “I hear the kids are getting married today. Sure seems to me that we already did this, didn’t we?”
“Gosh, Al, I sure think so; but, Geez, I can’t remember much anymore.”
“Well let’s go get the “girls” and go down and help them celebrate. After all, you only get married once.”
Albert and Dorothy and Ward and Maxyne were there that day and having a great time. We could feel their laughter and loving presence.
How will Krissy and Jeff explain their parents to their children? When the story is told to grandchildren to come, Holden, Krissy oldest son, will probably just smile an all knowing smile -- still won’t understand it, but at least he was there.
So my sister-in-law, who became my ex-sister-in-law, who became my brother’s live-in companion, became my sister-in-law again. Don’t they realize the complexity they bring to their lives and ours? They will need a menu of alternative questions and answers to relatively simple questions.
The first sign of this complexity came when a clerk at the Bureaucracy of Marriage Licenses asked, “I see you two have the same last name.” Are you blood relatives?”
“Well, Uh, No -- It’s a long story.”
Innocent questions such as, “How long have you two been married”? and “What is the date of your anniversary?” will necessitate additional questions before the original questions can be answered. “Do you mean total years? Do you mean the first time or the second time or both added together? Should we include the time we lived together?” Should we include the time we lived apart, but talked on the phone a lot?
Well, you see what I mean.
Have a nice day!
Sam
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1 comment:
Yes, Sam, we will admit one marriage counselor did throw up his hands. Our fathers' pants at our first wedding have given us all a laugh. We always credited Al's puddling pants and Wards's highwaters to a cheap tuxedo shop but your theory about suspenders may have some merit. We haven't had many problems answering anniversary or length of marriage questions. We get to celebrate both anniversaries and if someone asks us today how long we have been married we just say, "Oh, 36 out of the last 40 years!" Last July we actually celebrated our 40th anniversary and had a splendid time. Thanks for the memories, Sam!
Jim and Ruth
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