This Just In!

1. Kayla Michelle Finley, of Pickens, S.C., was arrested Thursday when she went to the county sheriff's office to report a crime, according to Fox Carolina. Police discovered she had an active warrant for not returning a movie. (Yes, apparently that is a crime.)

2. This just in from NBA All-Star Game. Eastern Conference defeated Western Conference 163-155.

I guess there is no defensive player named to the team.

3.  To highs in political correctness. "intellectually disabled". Seems they have a hard time finding work.

Is that the same as stupid?

4. "Blondie" Meredith has a fixation with being the closest thing to Barbie as she could. So she is taking hypnotherapy to "dumb her down".

Geez she's already blond and has plastic boobs. That's a good start.

5. An enterpizing young Girl Scout set up her cookie stand outside a pot shop in Colorado. She sold 117 boxes.

Girls scout cookies make fabulous munchies.

6. A man in Mississippi died in a hospice. the coroner was called and pronounced him dead at 9PM. He was transferred to a funeral home for embalming. however the funeral director noticed the body bag moving and opened it and found the man alive. The explanation seemed to be that the defibrillator implanted in his chest probably kicked in and jolted him back to life.

So folks it ain't over til it's over. Since I have a defribillator implanted in me that also saved my life, please be sure that I'm really out of here.

7. Men with straggly facial hair can now fill in the spaces by getting transplants.


All that just to be cool in today's society.  What a bunch of vain jerks. 


8. KARE in Minneapolis/St. Paul reports a study reveals that cell phones have more bacteria than a toilet seat.

Ok germaphopes, look forward to not hearing from you again.

9. Donald Trump in a speech called Jimmy Carter "the late great Jimmy Carter".

I'm sure Jimmy was as surprised as anyone to hear that. 

10. According to Rolling Stone magazine, Miley Cyrus has been mentoring Justin Bieber.

Oh, that's why they look a like and behave a like. Who would have thunck?