THIS JUST IN!

News you need to know, or not!

E.P.A. may charge fees for 'air-polluting' livestock
(MEATPOULTRY.com, December 05, 2008)
by Bryan Salvage

MONTGOMERY, ALA. – Belching and gaseous cattle and hogs may start costing livestock ranchers money if a federal proposal to charge fees for air-polluting animals becomes law, according to The Associated Press. Livestock ranchers are understandably against the notion, which is one of several put forward by the Environmental Protection Agency after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in 2007 that greenhouse gases emitted by belching and flatulence amounts to air pollution.

"This is one of the most ridiculous things the federal government
has tried to do," said Ron Sparks, Alabama Agriculture Commissioner,
who is an outspoken opponent of the proposal.

The measure would require farms or ranches with more than 25 dairy
cows, 50 beef cattle or 200 hogs to pay an annual fee of about $175 for
each dairy cow, $87.50 per head of beef cattle and $20 for each hog.

Ken Hamilton, executive vice-president of the Wyoming Farm Bureau
Federation, estimates the fee would cost owners of a modest-sized
cattle ranch $30,000 to $40,000 a year. He said he has talked to many livestock owners about the proposals, and "all have said if the fee were carried out, it would bankrupt them."

Mr. Sparks is worried the fee could be extended to chickens and
other farm animals and cause more meat to be imported to the U.S.
"We'll let other countries put food on our tables like they are putting
gas in our cars," Mr. Sparks said. "Other countries don't have the
health standards we have."

A tax on cow farts?????

*****

PORT ST. LUCIE — A 20-year-old woman told police the wig she was wearing got snatched by an ex-boyfriend, who pedaled away on a bicycle, according to a report released Monday.
The victim said she left a party and was walking east on Southeast Voltair Terrace about 3 a.m. Friday when her ex-boyfriend came up on a bicycle. Nice transportation.

She said he started arguing and yanked off a black wig that was sewn to her natural blond hair. The ex-boyfriend reportedly slapped her after she began chasing him.

Investigators found the victim's hair in "disorder." She said she and the alleged wig-snatcher lived together for eight months. She knew his first name, but apparently recalled only the first letter of his last name.

The ex-boyfriend called the victim's cell phone while an officer was there. Speaking to an officer via the cell phone, he admitted pulling the wig off and leaving when the victim started crying and said she was calling authorities.

The ex-boyfriend hung up after police asked for his last name. Investigators continue to try to identify the alleged wig-puller.

They walk among us!

*****

The Capitol Visitors Center, which opened this morning, may have tripled its original budget and fallen years behind schedule, but Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid found a silver lining for members of Congress: tourists won't offend them with their B.O. anymore.

"My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway," said Reid in his remarks. "In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

But it's no longer going to be true, noted Reid, thanks to the air conditioned, indoor space.

And that's not all. "We have many bathrooms here, as you can see," Reid continued. "Souvenirs are available."

$621 million well spent. The budget was overrun by a factor of three and years late and Harry thinks its funny!

The odor is not from the American citizens, but from the members themselves. What an arrogant ASS! And he is the Senate Democratic leader.

*****

BRAINERD, Minn. - A 20-year-old Brainerd man had been out of jail for just minutes when authorities say he walked across the street and stole a sheriff's department vehicle used for undercover operations.

The man was taken back to jail less than an hour after he was released Wednesday.

I think he was not ready to leave home. Probably didn't want to miss pizza day.

*****

The Iowa woman who was caught having random sex in a Metrodome bathroom before a cheering crowd of onlookers Saturday during the Iowa-Minnesota football game said she was so drunk on wine that she doesn't remember anything about the incident, the Des Moines Register reported this afternoon.

"It's ruined my life," Ya Think? Lois Feldman, 38, of Carroll, told the Register.
Feldman, a married mother of three, told the newspaper that she was fired today from an assisted living center, where she had been an administrator.

"I don't know what happened," Feldman told the Register. "But I don't deny that it did happen, because obviously there are police reports."

Feldman said she'd never met Walsh.

"I don't know who this man is," she told the Register. "I just found out his name in the paper."
A security guard discovered the two having sex in a handicapped stall, police said. Police were summoned, and they interrupted the two.

Walsh was released to his girlfriend and Feldman to her husband, police said. It was a long ride home to Iowa

Police say that Walsh had also been drinking. Ya Think?

At least the part of the crowd had something to cheer about. Iowa won 55-00

*****

FORT LUPTON — Barry Manilow's "I Write the Songs" may begin with the line, "I've been alive forever,'" but for noise ordinance violators, listening to Manilow may feel like forever.
Fort Lupton Municipal Judge Paul Sacco says his novel punishment of forcing noise violators to listen to music they don't like for one hour has cut down on the number of repeat offenders in this northwestern Colorado prairie town.

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!

*****

BEIJING (AP) - A college student in southern China was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear's enclosure hoping to get a hug, state media and a park employee said Saturday.
The park in Guilin, a popular tourist town in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, houses a small zoo and a panda exhibit. It was virtually deserted when the student scaled the fence surrounding the panda, named Yang Yang, the employee said.

He said the student was bitten in the arms and legs. Two foreign visitors who saw the attack ran to get help from workers at a nearby refreshment stand, who notified park officials, the employee said.

The student was pale as he was taken away by medics but appeared clear-headed ????, he said.
"Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn't expect he would attack," You f*****g idiot.

*****

Florida Boy Arrested For Gas Attack
12-year-old charged after deliberately "breaking wind" in class

NOVEMBER 21--A 12-year-old Florida student was arrested earlier this month after he "deliberately passed gas to disrupt the class," according to police. The child, who was also accused of shutting off the computers of classmates at Stuart's Spectrum Jr./Sr. High School, was busted November 4 for disruption of a school function. A Martin County Sheriff's Office report, a copy of which you'll find below, notes that the 4' 11" offender admitted that he "continually disrupted his classroom environment by breaking wind and shutting off several computers." The boy, whose name was redacted from the police report released today, was turned over to his mother following the arrest. The young perp turned 13 on November 15. (2 pages)

A story he will tell his grandchildren and his grandchildren will be proud!

*****

Tijuana funeral business booming, With all the drugers killing each other there is a lot of dead work to be done.

There is always a bright side.

And that's the news from here!

Have a nice day!

Sammy Carl