THIS JUST IN!

All the News You Need to Know, or Not!

Lindsay Lohan referred to President-elect Barack Obama as the country's "first colored president" in an interview on Access Hollywood. Describing her experience on Election Day, Lohan said: "It was really exciting. It's an amazing feeling. It's our first colored president."

I haven't heard that expression since to 50s. She really knows her history

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A Jersey City councilman has reportedly been arrested for urinating on a crowd of concertgoers from the balcony of a Washington D.C. nightclub.

The New York Daily News reports in Sunday's editions that two-term Jersey City councilman Steve Lipski has been charged with simple assault.

That's after club staffers saw him relieve himself onto the crowd from a second floor balcony during a concert by a Grateful Dead tribute band.

Must have been a bad cover of the Dead. Was there alcohol involved?

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With no golf on his schedule, John Daly says he went to North Carolina to have fun with some friends.

What followed was a night in jail to sober up, a photo of Daly in orange coveralls with his eyes half-open, and the kind of publicity that seems to accompany the two-time major champion no matter where he goes.

"Nothing is going right in my life right now," Daly said in a telephone interview Sunday. "I'm going through a hell of a divorce. I haven't seen my son. It was an unfortunate incident, but it's a joke what people are saying. I take full responsibility for what happened, but it wasn't that big of a deal."

According to Winston-Salem police, Daly appeared "extremely intoxicated and uncooperative" when he was found outside a Hooters restaurant early Oct. 27. With no other means of transportation, he was taken to the Forsyth County jail for 24 hours to get sober.

Daly said it could have been avoided if his friends had realized he tends to sleep with his eyes open when he's tired, stressed and has been drinking. He said the driver of his private bus, parked near Hooters, panicked when he saw Daly and called the paramedics.

Sleeps with his eyes open???? How he do dat! Nothing good happens outside of Hooters after it closes.

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Here's the deal. Boxer Joe Frazier's last opponent, Floyd “Jumbo” Cummings, is suing ESPN Classic, claiming the broadcast of his fight has basically ruined his life. P.S. ... He's serving a life sentence for armed robbery.

It took him a long time to remember why his life was ruined.

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The Atlanta Journal-Constitution says a Georgia nonprofit is offering $10,000 to an engaged couple that agrees to abstain from premarital sex. The deadline is Oct. 31.

So far, they haven't received any entries, even though the prize includes free flowers and other wedding-related freebies.

Faust's standard on premarital sex reportedly shifted during the interview, so now she's willing to entertain entries from couples that have had sex but now acknowledge that it was wrong to do so.

When it doesn't work out, change the rules.

A top aide to N.Y. Gov. David Paterson didn't pay his taxes for five years because of "non-filer syndrome," his lawyer says.

"These are very high-functioning people who otherwise can complete all of the ordinary tasks in their lives," Richard Kestenbaum, a lawyer who's representing Charles O'Byrne, tells the Daily News. "But there is something that they can't do, and many times that causes them not to be able to file their tax returns."

The New York Times says it couldn't find any sign of this condition in the diagnostic manual. Paterson, a Democrat, tells the News he doesn't believe "non-filer syndrome" exists.

Really? I wonder if it is covered by Medicare

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UTICA, N.Y. (WKTV) - Student volunteers from colleges around New York State braved freezing cold temperatures on their bikes Wednesday to send a message to state and federal political candidates: pay attention to climate change.

I wonder if they were wearing wool biker shorts.

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Enter the Lingerie Football League, a 10-team, full-contact, professional football league for ladies launching in fall 2009. San Diego's very own franchise, the Seduction, will hold tryouts at 10 a.m. Saturday, Oct. 18, in Kate Sessions Park.

"San Diego will be home to the LFL's San Diego Seduction, which will comprise of San Diego's most attractive and athletic women," the news release reads. "We will meet with many San Diego-based women during Saturday's mini-camp and test the ladies through a series of football drills."

Hey now we"re talkin'!

BOSSIER CITY, La. (AP) — Miss Teen Louisiana is losing her crown 11 days early after being arrested on charges of leaving a restaurant without paying and carrying marijuana.

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A story in the paper described a recent crime that involved two transients, and since we don't wish to make light of it, we'll omit the details -- except for this one, which showed how life has changed since the previous Depression.

During a search, police found that the assailant had taken the victim's iPod and Nintendo DS.

What recession?

Until next time!

Sammy Carl