March 13, 2013. I started my day pretty much as usual. I checked out the news on my computer, lounged around and then headed for the gym. It was a typical Southern California day, beautiful. It was a day the Lord had made.
I finished my usual exercise routine, spoke to Jimmy, the attendant, picked up a copy of the local Coronado Eagle Journal and went out the door and up the stairs into the warm sunshine. As I reached the top of the stairs, my phone rang. It was about 10:45. It was my friend, Ruieta. She said there was a policeman who wanted to speak with me, I told him I would be right there and proceeded to walk to my building and up the elevator. I still had no clue why a policeman would want to talk to me. I wondered if he needed to talk to me about a friend who might be in some trouble.Yes, I do have friends that could be in trouble.
Note: Ruieta later told me that she was scheduled to visit a few of the units her family owned. She planned to make my building her last stop, but for some reason she changed her mind and came to my building first. She usually parks in the parking structure, but today parked out the front entrance to the lobby. When she went inside the policeman was there looking for me. They did not have my cell number at the desk. She spoke up and said she had my phone number. The officer made that fateful call.
I got off the elevator and Ruieta and the policeman were waiting. The officer said he needed to speak to me inside. We went in. and I offered him a seat on the couch and proceeded to sit-down in my easy chair, placing my newspaper on the table beside me. (It is still in that place one year later.) I still was not sure what it was all about, but I knew it might be serious.
He said, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you.’” At that moment I knew and I knew it was about Mark.
“Your son, Mark, was found dead in his apartment this morning. I am sorry for your loss.” I was floored with this absolute bombshell. The worst nightmare was true. An emptiness flooded over my heart and stomach.. I asked immediately if there was foul play involved. He told me that it looked natural.
He then gave me the name and phone number of the detective handling the case. I thanked him and he left. Ruieta came in. I told her the news and said I needed to make some phone calls.
I called the number and got the Hackensack Police Department. I told the officer who I was and the detective whom I needed to speak to. The officer said that the detective was still on the scene, and he would call my back right away. I finally got the call and he outlined that Mark was found on his floor. There was no fowl play. His body would be taken to the morgue for an autopsy.
I then called Doe. She was coming out of her hobby job work place. I ask her if anyone had contacted her. By the tone of her voice I knew she did not know. I broke the news to her. I gave her the details. as I knew them/ and the phone numbers. Naturally she was in shock. I told her to go home immediately. The Eden Prairie [olice contacted her later and said they had been there but there was nobody home. We both want to thank the Hackensack Police Department, the Coronado Police Department and the Eden Prairie Police Department for their sensitive handling of this terrible situation. I imagine this may be the worst part of their jobs.
Later, I was able to piece together part of the story. Mark died on Monday night of a heart attack. The death certificate stated it was a result of a long time development of coronary heart disease. I had told both my boys that they had a heredity factor going for them because I had a heart attack at forty-four years of age. It was a fact that Mark didn’t take care for his physical health. He had heredity against him, he was greatly overweight, his diet and exercise were that of a couch potato, he smoked, his job was high stress with high stress travel. The sad part, if he had taken better care of himself, he might be alive today.
On Tuesday morning Mark did not show up for work. This was totally out of pattern for him. No one could reach him by phone, text or email. On Wednesday morning, once again he wasn’t there. His boss, Paul Yoo, now knew he had to find out why Mark was not there.
He drove to Mark’s apartment and contacted the manager. He told her of his concerns. She said that in these cases the police needed to be called to insure that if there was foul play, evidence would be secure. The detectives came and the manager let them in. Mark was on the floor with no life. I figured that he died either before midnight of the 11th or the morning of the 12th. In any event it was over night between the 11th and 12th, and does it really matter. I consider his death was when I got the word.
The manager later told Doe that Paul stood outside the door, acting as almost a protector and sentry. She offered him a chair, but he refused. The next morning the LG company flag flew at half mast in honor of Mark Arnold. We will forever be grateful to Paul and all of his co-workers. Paul and several of Mark’s close friends attended his Memorial service later.
I have my concerns about Facebook, but I found perhaps it is a most valuable tool for anyone in my position. His last post was a pinup shot of a beautiful young lady he had photographed the day before at his photography group. I was able to read posts to his page about the feelings of his friends and co-workers about him. I never read one without crying a little. Still do, because he still gets a post every so often. I still communicate by posting little things that I knew he would be interested in.He was truly loved by anyone who knew him.
As time moved forward, It was Doe who took over all of the tasks that needed to be done to move time forward. I will be forever grateful for all she did. I felt guilt that I couldn't do more, but that’s the process that moved the terrible tasks forward to its finality. It was way she wanted it. She has always been one who needs to control. It was also it is her way of coping. Keep busy. She did the best job given the task of anyone in the world. My other son, Tim, who is an attorney. helped his Mom with the legal matters.
I wish Doe and Tim would write their stories of this tragic time for our family. It would complete the the story..
I have lived a most blessed life. Mark’s death is the only real tragedy I have ever encountered, but it is all part of life.
Thanks for listening.
Sam
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