THIS JUST IN!

NEWS YOU NEED TO KNOW, OR NOT!

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's term was Political Correctness.

The winner wrote:"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forththe proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Well said!

*****

The latest drug on the New York club scene might surprise some people.

Preparation H.

Yes, that iconic ointment for what ails folks from behind apparently can get women in a lather.

ABC News is reporting that New York bouncer, blogger and author Rob Fitzgerald has noticed that young men waiting outside his clubs are greasing up with the hemorrhoid cream to make themselves look "ripped" for the ladies.

I always thought New Yorkers were a bunch of assholes.

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Robbers use thongs to cover their faces?

One robber wore blue, the other green. But they were definitely under dressed for their getaway after stealing cash and cigarettes from a gas station's convenience store in Arvada, Colo.

Police were excited by the suspects' choice of masks — women's thong underwear — which left little the imagination, according to the surveillance video. The "masks" barely covered each man's nose, mouth and chin. That is precisely what I like about women's thong underware.

In another fashion statement, one had a pink backpack for the loot from their pre-dawn caper two weeks ago.

Who were those masked men?

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Gianna Vigliotti, who was pulled over by police as she swerved in and out of her lane on Northern Boulevard in Manhasset Friday night, said that's exactly what happened to her, according to court documents.

After the 17-year-old from Glen Cove recorded a .15 percent blood-alcohol level in a portable breath test - nearly the twice the legal limit of .08 percent - she told the officer who pulled her over, "I didn't drink! I was kissing a boy who was drunk," according to the police report.

It made no difference to Officer Michael Pallazzo whether Vigliotti's speech was slurred from smooching or from swigging. When he found four full beer bottles under the passenger seat of her Volkswagen and an empty beer can in her purse, he placed her under arrest, court documents said.

Good try kid!

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McDonald's unveiled the McCafé line at Golden Valley's Winnetka Avenue location with an a capella quintet -- dressed in McDonald's uniforms -- and a tasting with local celebrities such as Minnesota Wild player Mark Parrish, a self-described coffee enthusiast. His verdict: The McCafé brew "puts my wife's coffee to shame."

Did anybody say hockey players are stupid ? If that's the worst word his wife uses when he gets home, I'd be surprised.

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Paul, a homeless man is a regular visitor at Wesley United Methodist Church. He has a favorite pew that he makes his way to, after which he promptly falls asleep.

The members talked it over and decided to let him sleep, said the Rev. Suzanne. When Paul can't find a shelter for the night, he doesn't get much sleep, so the church members figured that they'd cut him some slack.

"If the snoring gets too loud, someone will go over and nudge him," she said. "But it's just Paul. It's not a big deal."

It couldn't have been a boring sermon that induced his sleep, could it? What about other snoring parishioners? What's their excuse?

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SUSAN SARANDON, who appeared in three films last year and won kudos for her TV movie "Bernard and Doris," is still not a contented soul. She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, "It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people."

Don't let the door slap you in the ass, Susan. Alex Baldwin is still residing in the US. Promises made, promises not kept.

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MILAN, Italy (AP) - First it was the film and the book. Now the next stop for Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" is opera.

La Scala officials say the Italian composer Giorgio Battistelli has been commissioned to produce an opera on the international multiformat hit for the 2011 season at the Milan opera house. The composer is currently artistic director of the Arena in Verona.

I wonder who will play the fat tenor? Probably Al himself.

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MEXICO CITY – Mexico's attorney general said Wednesday a surge in drug gang killings, marked by murders of police and decapitations this month, showed an army crackdown on cartels is working.

HUH?

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The crew aboard the International Space Station is working on a problem with the system for collecting solid and liquid waste, which is a trickier proposition without gravity than it is on the Earth. Space toilets use jets of fan-propelled air to guide waste into the proper container.

If an astronaut gets hit in the face with a flying turd, I hope it's the clean end.

Stupid Comment of the Day!





'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,' 
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

Have a nice day!

Samuel C. Arnold