Monday, April 7, 2008

THIS JUST IN!

News You Need to Know, or Not

From James Lilacs Minneapolis Star Tribune.

Ever since the Republicans decided to hold their national convention in St. Paul, readers have asked me about the night life in the Twin Cities. If New York City never sleeps, I say, then Minneapolis-St. Paul never goes to bed past 10 pm on a school night. Liquor can’t be sold on Sundays — and for that matter, neither can cars. Bars close at 2 AM. Farmers get up at 4 AM.

It’s a quiet place. Minnesota, recognizing that dry Sundays and fixed closing time for bars might cut into the revenue the state hopes to generate from wild Republicans roaming its streets, offered a bill that would allow Minneapolis and St. Paul to waive the liquor rules and extend bar closing times for 11 days surrounding the convention. Minneapolis appears ready to take the offer, but St. Paul likes its sidewalks rolled:

“We can be a cold Omaha or we can stand up and be a 24-hour city,” said downtown DFL Council Member Lisa Goodman.

The debate got somewhat partisan in the Twin Cities. St. Paul City Council member Dave Thune, a rather notorious DFL crank — that’s Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, the Minnesota version of the Democratic Party — complained about the possibility of “puking Republicans” in the street. Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, also DFL, scolded Thune, saying he wanted to roll out the red carpet for GOP convention-goers.

Look out Twin Cities, it going to be party time.

*****

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. -- A 28-year-old woman in Orange County stabbed her husband during a fight that sparked over having hot dogs for dinner, according to a sheriff's office report.

Officers said Alfreda Van Bladel apparently had prepared a dinner for her husband, Anton, that consisted of hot dogs.

At some point, the man snatched the plate of hot dogs from his wife's hands, the report said.

The action prompted the woman to stab her husband in the shoulder with a steak knife, according to authorities.

WHOA! Just eat your hot dog and keep your mouth shut.

*****

.PARIS - France's military is keeping close tabs on a French luxury yacht seized by pirates off Somalia's coast, and officials hope to avoid using force to free the 30 crew members, the prime minister said Saturday.

Pirates on a luxury yacht? The French have not lost their lust for a good fight. Can’t we all just get along?

*****

PALO ALTO, Calif. - Palo Alto police are looking for a bank robber who favors a decidedly slow-speed getaway vehicle — an electric wheelchair. Police said a man in his 60s with gray hair and a beard held up the Wachovia Bank branch at the Stanford Shopping Center late this afternoon with a black handgun.

After the stickup, he left in his wheelchair and was last seen motoring down a nearby street toward El Camino Real, a major thoroughfare.

Bank robbery is equal opportunity employment for the disabled.

*****

The Minnesota House voted Thursday to give smokers some shelter — in smoking shacks outside of the bars and restaurants where lighting up became illegal six months ago.

In a 73-59 vote, the House voted to allow smoking in shelters outside of establishments, though the smokers would have to do without food or drink service. Smoking ban supporters warned that the change could open the door to "mischief," but the DFL and GOP defenders of bar and restaurant owners overruled them.

Smoking, wild puking Republicans will now have shelter from the rain.

*****

If steps aren't taken to stem global warming, "We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow," Turner said during a wide-ranging, hour-long interview with PBS's Charlie Rose that aired Tuesday.

"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals," said Turner, 69. "Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable."

Personally, I would like a few palm trees at Lake Minnetonka, and for a cannible there is nothing like a good Chanti and some fava beans!

*****

News from the Healh Front!

April 1 (Bloomberg) -- Botulinum neurotoxin type A, sold as Allergan Inc.'s Botox remedy for wrinkles, can move from its injection site to the brain, a study shows.

No wrinkles, but no brains?

No benefit in drinking eight glasses of water a day, scientists say.

The idea that drinking eight glasses of water a day is good for your health has been dismissed as a myth.

Scientists say there is no evidence drinking large amounts of water is beneficial for the average healthy person, and do not even know how this widely held belief came about.

The info on the benefits of eight glasses of water a day probably came from 24 hour news services on a slow news day.

Have a nice day!

Samuel

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